I know, I know. I have been a bad, bad blogger. Since I started this site earlier this year, I have tried to be pretty consistent about writing and posting regularly- not only since this is a commandment for successful blogging, but because I really appreciate the time my loyal readers and followers take to read all my content. So there’s absolutely no excuse for why I have taken a break and been absent for so long. But I can assure you – my hiatus was for a good cause. I was busy falling in love.
Move over Paris (even though this city will always have my heart). I can confirm without a doubt is that Oahu, Hawaii is the best place on earth for romance. The last month has been a whirlwind of enjoying all this island has to offer with my amazing new man. Everything from constantly eating delicious meals at every restaurant imaginable (especially breakfast, our favorite), beach days, hikes, picnics, live music, cookouts with friends, a staycation in an oceanfront suite, cultural festivals, and watching sunsets together… but most of all, just simply waking up next to him each morning in paradise is enough to keep a smile on my face. Finally, the relationship I’ve always dreamed of has arrived, and there are simply no words to express my gratitude.
Allow me to rewind it back a little bit so I can paint a more complete picture for you of why exactly I’m so thankful for what I now have.
I had been single for several years and really focused on myself, my education, and my career, which one would think is the right way to do it in your mid-to-late twenties. But like many women my age, I was beginning to secretly panic in the back of my mind. Where the f*** is he?! I had accomplished all that I set out to and finally got to the point where I felt I had everything I ever wanted in life – except a partner to share it all with. I got tired of the endless questions from others on when I would settle down (as if it’s easy to find your soulmate among 7 billion people) and the stigma associated with being a single woman during prime childbearing years. So many of my friends were marrying and popping out kids, and I was starting to wonder if this would ever happen for me. Maybe I somehow missed that window for myself. Plus, I had so many horror stories under my belt from years of dating that I was exhausted and slightly traumatized. The thought of finding what I want among the seemingly hopeless men of my generation was beginning to seem impossible. I let the pressure get to me and I
spent wasted a lot of time worrying about it over the years. Despite all of this, I refused to settle for anything less than true love and was willing to wait for it.
Eventually, I realized that it was pretty foolish to harp on my relationship status and that I was actually pretty damn happy in life besides this. I had a lot going for me and was having lots of fun on my own, so I needed to let it go. I knew love would come when the time was right, but I had some work to do on me first. I accepted that I was not meant to live a conventional life, and if getting married and having kids was not in my path, then so be it. I would never give up hope, but instead, I would focus my energy on pursuing the things I love and making myself the best person I could be.
Instead of falling in love with someone else, I needed to fall in love with ME first. I took myself on dates to restaurants, shows, even vacations – all solo. I spent much of my time reading, exploring my passions, learning about things that interested me, and just getting to know myself on a deeper level. All of this may sound silly, but what’s actually silly is that this is something we don’t all take the time to do. The journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance that ensued was incredible and powerful. I was finally okay with being a single woman because I realized me and my life were totally fabulous.
For 2016, I decided to continue this approach. On New Year’s Day, I set my intention and declared to the universe that this year was going to be all about self-love, self-care, and establishing my new business, Bohemian Soul. And the year certainly started out that way. I was on a roll for the first few months. As my travel schedule got more intense with monthly trips, I still tried to keep my priorities in line and make time to work on my website, blog, and upcoming book. But then the damndest thing happened. Love just kind of fell into my lap. The universe has a funny sense of humor like that.
It’s been a few months now and I still have to pinch myself every day. This relationship I’m in is completely different than any I’ve had in the past because it feels so easy, comfortable, and natural. It feels right. This is exactly what I have been waiting for all these years. I honestly attribute finally finding this to all the time I spent on personal growth and development. Had I not went through my years of solitude and soul searching, I know for a fact I would not be in such a good place mentally, emotionally, and spiritually to truly enjoy and appreciate what I now have. Becoming comfortable with myself and learning to unconditionally love who I am has made me ready to truly love someone else and give them all of me. By focusing on what I did not have, I continued to block the very thing I wanted and yearned for. When I instead focused on and appreciated all the things I did have, I was able to manifest exactly what I wanted. When I focused on radiating love and happiness, that is exactly what I attracted into my life.
So yes, as many people have commented, I may look a lot happier now. And while I wholeheartedly appreciate those sentiments, the truth is, I have always been happy. This wonderful man compliments my life and brings me joy, but he, nor anyone else, could never be the one to teach me the lessons I had to learn on my own. When happiness comes from within, rather than based on people or material things, it can never be taken from you. Self-love is eternal.
I don’t typically like to put my personal life on blast, but felt compelled to share all of this because I know the things I went through as a single woman are not unique. I personally know many others who can benefit from learning about this epiphany I had. Women these days have enough stress on our plates, so finding love should not be such a burden. When, instead, we love and nurture ourselves like the queens that we are, our kings will be the ones to find us and the rest will simply fall into place.
I may have had to cross the world’s largest ocean to find myself and in the process, my soulmate, but for many of you out there, the answers are much closer than you ever imagined. May sound cliche, but the place you may have least expected (within) is where you’ll find the greatest love of your life.